wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
