somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
