is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Holy sore nipples Batman
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
