i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize