I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
