Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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