She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
