he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
