So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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