And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
