i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he thought i was a dude.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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