I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
