I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
