i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
