Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize