do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You need a sexual gate keeper
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Randomize
