So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
