he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
