Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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