Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
