Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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