she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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