We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
