Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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