I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
