she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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