i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
