and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
