I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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