Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
