dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
