Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize
