i permit you to call me
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
