phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
