What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
