We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
