i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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