One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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