D3 body, D1 cock
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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