I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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