So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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