for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
