can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
