Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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