You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Randomize
