So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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