He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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