My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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