i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
