Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
