can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
