Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
