well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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