I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
