What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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