I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
