We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
