Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
