super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
