My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
