where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
