I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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