you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize
