Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
