fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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