Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
