just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
