I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
