I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
