MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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