I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
