Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
