So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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