Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
