We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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