I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
