Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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