Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
