Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
