what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
