Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize