): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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