Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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